Impossible Challenge

This is an odd little forum game. The goal is simple: come up with something completely impossible. It's loosely inspired by a certain shinobi's comment about "looking left and right at the same time." Essentially, in your post you do two things: describe how the previous poster's challenge could be completed and pose a challenge of your own. For instance:

Post A: Challenge-- Look left and right at the same time.
Post B: I use a clone justsu. The clone looks left; I look right. Challenge-- use a ninjutsu technique without any chakra.


So, I'll start it off.

Challenge-- Teach an unborn child a jutsu.

Solution: Use a jutsu to telepathically imprint the knowledge into the unborn child's forming mind.

Challenge: Stab yourself with a marshmallow.

Solution: Use Suiton jutsu to harden the marshmallow into a cutting implement, then stab yourself. Then stab Doom Kitty.

Challenge: Win a tournament before it's even announced.

Solution: Who said theres a tournament?

Challenge: Lose a tournament before its even annocued(and not be named Doom Kitty )

Solution: Gurantee you lose by creating a character that is so underpowered it could never win (unless you are named Osaru ).

Challenge: Fight something you can not see (being a Hyuga or a Uchiha who can "see" does not count).

Solution: Use one of Wrath's Katon techniques to burn every freaking thing within two hundred miles.

Challenge: Without inventing a new technique, use a jutsu to affect something on the opposite side of the planet from where the user is. Kuchiyose does not count.

Solution: Use a Sxy Jutsu in the middle of nowhere, hope some alien is watching you, and well you know how it goes from there... XD

Challenge: Win a challenge before its even annouced(and not be OPed)!

That's... very creative. XD

Solution: be the only member of the forums where the challenge will be announced.

Challenge: Stop all time. Do it for exactly five minutes.

Solution: Stop all time, move every clock ahead five minutes, restart time, and tell everyone you did it.

Challenge: Get blood out of a rock.

Solution: get the rock out of the blood XD

Challenge: help Osaru think of a Challenge

XD

Alternate Solution to previous: wash the rock with soap and water

Solution: Tell Osaru to read this thread and think about what he's reading.

Challenge: Do something impossible.

Solution: teach a college student to get into bed before midnight (trust me this is impossible if they do not already go to bed at that time... i have tried to teach my roomie to go to bed and he just has to get in at 2 every morning... )

Challenge: Not laugh when you see someone scrambling to write a paper 5 minutes before class starts. (I know this is not a ninja art but I guess hiding emotions is important)

Solution: Use the Keibatsu Kekkei Genkai to make everyone else laugh instead.

Challenge: Graduate college after five total years. Of life.

Solution: Make the year five times longer by changing the calendars.

Challenge: Die before being alive.

Solution: This may be wrong(and slightly offensive), but 'being aborted'

Challenge: Live before being dead.

Yeah, beat that Challenge o.O

Solution: Don't touch the Necronomicon.

Challenge: Ban the root admin.

Technically you are alive from the moment of conception so... Anyone else got a solution?

Cassus wrote:

Solution: Don't touch the Necronomicon.

Cthulu? Nice... <~~ he, representing me, approves ^^

EDIT: I can Ban DK right now if i want, but i wont cuz he hasnt pissed me off yet, and im too ncie to do that(unless he SERIOUSLY pisses me off, but thats kidna hard lol)

Can you? I'm used to Proboards-- the forum creator can't be banned there. Eh.

An alternate...
Solution: install an AI program on a desktop. Cut the power to the desktop; it dies. Then make the AI self-aware; it's alive! Does that work?

Challenge: Find the dirt hill with WiFi that Osaru's using.

Solution: have Osaru look outside and tell you its in Nevada XD

Challenge: get OSaru off the dirt hill with WiFi he lives on >.>

Solution: Set up interference to disable the WiFi and make sure the only other WiFi is several miles away XD

Challenge: Cheat on a cheat proof system.

Solution: Get a spouse. Seduce someone else. Cheat on your spouse with the other person on top of a cheat-proof system.

Challenge: Post in two threads NOT in the Etc section.

Solution: GET ACTIVE DAMMIT!

Challenge: Follow my previous statement(the solution)